"Know your self, know your worth," are some lyrics that stood out to me in Drake's song "0 to 100".
These words, strung together, speak volumes. Those words are the foundation that self-worth is built upon. You can not truly understand your value, without knowing who you are. You may know what you like, what you don't like, what you want, and what you need, but your true value is discovered once you dive beneath the surface and understand every inch and corner of your mind, body, and soul. And I feel like that's when you begin to know your worth.
So how do you get to know yourself? Well to start, everybody is different, but here are some things that may help you. Keep in mind that this list will continue to change and grow as we all get older and learn more and more about ourselves.
Spend some time with yourself. No I don't necessarily mean by sitting in silence; But I want you to use the time when you are alone effectively - use it in a way where you can learn more about you. If that means treating yourself to something you want, trying something new, or even writing in your journal, do it! For some it may mean that you have to be alone to your thoughts, but take this alone time as an opportunity to learn and grow. Figure out more of what you like, how you think, and learn about who you are.
Depend on you and defend yourself. A branch off of from spending time with yourself is depending on yourself to be the creator of your own happiness. Knowing your worth includes understanding the happiness that you deserve, and you have to spend some time with yourself to understand what makes you happy. Aside from depending on yourself for your happiness, you need to defend yourself when people or surrounding factors attack your happiness . By this I mean, stand up for yourself. If someone in your corner, or someone who you think is in your corner, is impacting your happiness address them and defend your own happiness. Stick up for yourself, to be treated how you deserve to be treated. Sometimes you may have to rid of toxic people in order to defend your happiness. And always remember to never let anyone take your kindness for weakness.
Be selfish. This doesn't mean that you can't do for other people anymore, but make sure that you are putting yourself, your needs, and your wants first. Selfishness is just as important as selflessness - and don't you ever forget that! Sometimes you need to set some time aside for you, some time aside to do what you want to do, to do what makes you happy. Enjoy life, please. It's already too short, so you have to cherish every moment you get. And to enjoy it, sometimes you have to be a little selfish and do something for you for once.
Spend time with other people. Experience life, and experience people. Apart of discovering your worth is keeping people in your circle to decide whether they are "worthy" of you. This isn't to be cocky, but not everyone is capable of handling your greatness. Some people recognize how great you are and take advantage of that greatness for their own benefits. Decide which people are beneficial to your life and which people are bringing you down. Anyone who is using you (emotionally, physically, financially, etc.) get them out your life! Do not mix up seasonal people, with lifetime expectations. Some people are there to teach you a lesson about life, to help you grow, and help you discover what you deserve and more. Other people are there to grow with you, match your effort, bring balance to your life, and treat you the way you deserve to be treated (and sometimes even better). But you have to be around people to figure out if they know your worth or not. And if they do, they're keepers. If not, let toxic people go. Sometimes, you need to be around people who don't know your worth, in order to understand what you deserve, and then remove them from your life.
Get a journal. Seriously, get you one, pick you one, any one. Please write in it. And try to write in it as faithfully as possible. For me, it was one of the best ways to learn about myself. As you go through things, good and bad, write about yourself - document the things you go through. Think of this as filing information, so that when situations represent themselves you know what you want out of them. Journal to better understand your worth, so that you can let no one mess with it.
Prayer. Prayer changes things. But more importantly, prayer changes you. Ask God to help you grow, ask him to mold you into the man or woman that he has you to be. Ask for the strength to make more decisions for you, decisions that are beneficial towards you. Ask for the people you need in your life to stay, and anyone who is toxic to your happiness that they are removed from your circle. Ask him for the ability to notice your worth, and that he can help you get out of situations that you feel are bad. And if your not a religious person, find something that brings you peace of mind or hope, and trust and believe it's been taken care of.
Until you recognize your worth, your value, your richness, your beauty, people will treat you at the level of which they think you deserve to be treated. And if you allow that, you will never get treated how you want to be treated. My message to anyone is to learn from the people around you, and learn to not keep people around you who will not help you grow and flourish. Your greatness deserves to be acknowledged. Knowing your worth is a part of the development process. It not only teaches you more about yourself, it makes you more confident, it creates balance in your life, and it helps you make the best decisions for you.
If you have some other tips that have helped you with the growth process, post it below. I'd love to hear how you are growing, and glowing,
P.S. Always remember Malcolm X's words, " If you stand for nothing, you fall for anything."
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